I know I haven't been a good blogger lately. I used to have a few hundreds of readers every day, but now the number has dramatically fallen. Many times I thought I have lost it. No, the number of readers does not concern me one bit. I think I've lost the feeling to write. I am just too busy to jot things down sometime.

When I started this blog there were so many things I wanted to vent out. Partly due to the fact that I was confused at the time. Mixture of feelings led to mixture of thoughts then it became too overwhelming for me to hold for myself alone. I was young.

I had to let out some, and this factored my presence here. I began writing as a lonely blogdriveian,while others using blogspot, i prefer blogdrive more. didn't really care to read others' blogs, nor did I care about being a writer to an isolated blog. That was what I wanted. I wrote for me. Even until today I care not about the perception my blog might portray. 

I wrote shit, I wrote thrashes only valuable to me, hoping one day I could look back and recapture the feelings I felt at the time of writing. Each time when I started writing those posts, I reminded myself not to forget this, not to forget. I never have.

But as the clouds went fierce with rain and made us fear of thunders, and ray of lights shoot through the dark clouds and into our homes, we've all changed along with the world. I'm not as young anymore. I've seen and I've tasted - no more overwhelmed by feelings and mixture of thoughts. Hence looking back, I realize my style of writing changed bit by bit.

Often I scrutinize the possibility of closing down this blog. Today just the same. But I can never do it. This is the only place no one, no one at all, can touch or dictate. 

This, although so seldom attended, is me.
azmierulcm